The other day, I preached a funeral for the tragic death of a child. Any death of a child is tragic. I've debated posting this, but in the end, I decided to post the Scripture readings with the Sermon with some changes to protect the privacy of the family. I hope that this can help anyone stumbles across this who may have to deal with the loss of a child. If you read this and know someone struggling with such a loss, please feel free to share this.
2 Samuel 12:15b-23
The Lord struck the child that Uriah’s wife bore to David, and
it became very ill. 16David therefore pleaded with God for the child; David
fasted, and went in and lay all night on the ground. 17The elders
of his house stood beside him, urging him to rise from the ground; but he would
not, nor did he eat food with them. 18On the
seventh day the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him
that the child was dead; for they said, “While the child was still alive, we
spoke to him, and he did not listen to us; how then can we tell him the child
is dead? He may do himself some harm.” 19But when
David saw that his servants were whispering together, he perceived that the
child was dead; and David said to his servants, “Is the child dead?” They said,
“He is dead.” 20Then David rose from the ground, washed, anointed
himself, and changed his clothes. He went into the house of the Lord, and
worshiped; he then went to his own house; and when he asked, they set food
before him and he ate. 21Then his servants said to him, “What is this thing that
you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while it was alive; but when
the child died, you rose and ate food.” 22He said,
“While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, ‘Who knows?
The Lord may be gracious to me, and the child may live.’ 23But now he
is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but
he will not return to me.”
John 14:1-4, 18-19, 25-27
‘Do
not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. 2In my Father’s house
there are many dwelling-places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I
go to prepare a place for you? 3And if I go and prepare a
place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I
am, there you may be also. 4And you know the way to
the place where I am going.’
18 ‘I
will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you. 19In a little while the
world will no longer see me, but you will see me; because I live, you also will
live.
25 ‘I
have said these things to you while I am still with you. 26But the Advocate, the
Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything,
and remind you of all that I have said to you. 27Peace I leave with you;
my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let
your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.
Matthew 19:13-15
13Then little children were being brought to him in order
that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples spoke sternly to
those who brought them; 14but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and
do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven
belongs.” 15And he laid his hands on them and went on his way.
Sermon
The first question everyone asks
when such a tragedy as this happens is “why?” Why did this happen? Why did God let this happen? Why didn’t God stop this? Why would God take a little innocent
child when there are so many evil people in the world?
These are fair questions. These are honest questions. These are real questions. But, these are questions I cannot
answer. In Romans 8:28, the
Apostle Paul writes, “all things work together for good for those who love God,”
but let’s be honest…right here, and right now, it’s hard to see how this
tragedy is going to work out for the good of anyone here, and a lot of us here
love God!
Maybe the problem doesn’t lie in
Paul’s words – that “all things work together for those who love God,” – but in
the way that we tend to use Paul’s words.
We take them out of context.
You see, this little isolated quote is not something we can just toss
around in every situation, but we need to look at how it is used, and then we
see that it absolutely applies to all of us in this situation! If we go back to Romans 8:15, we see
that Paul is writing to the Romans about becoming believers in Christ. So,
taken in context, “all things working together” is a statement about salvation,
not a statement about everyday circumstances. Paul confirms that in verse 17
where he talks about suffering with Christ – Is that not what we are doing
today? Is that not what we will do
for some time to come?
Of course, the child is in the arms
of God right now. Of course God is
pure love and pure joy. But, because God created humans in his image, I have no doubt that God also in some way
is suffering with us. Christ in some way
feels our pain.
Maybe King David made the most
profound statement about the death of a child in our Old Testament Scripture
today. King David grieved while his child was still alive barely
clinging to life. He fasted,
begged God, but yet the infant still died. What
King David did is almost unexplainable, and to say that anyone here should do
the same is unrealistic – we must remember that Scripture doesn’t always tell
us how much time passes between events.
The only word telling us how long it took from the time that David
learned that his child had died until he decided to clean himself up and eat
something is the word “then.” We
can’t be certain how much time passed in that simple word, “then.” Maybe it was immediate - maybe there was some time - we simply don't know. But, what I do want us to focus on is
the statement that David made and the amount of certainty with which he made
it. When questioned why he was
basically going on with his life, he said – and I paraphrase – “This child
isn’t coming back to me here on this side of eternity, but one day, I will
spend eternity with this child!”
Right now, those may not be the
most comforting words. But, one
day, if you choose, and getting right with God is a choice, any of us here can
spend eternity with the child and with God. As the Gospel of John said, Jesus has
prepared many dwelling places for us.
They are free for the taking.
Free if you believe that God sent his son Jesus, and that Jesus died on
the cross for our sins and through that our sins are forgiven in God’s
eyes.
As our Scripture from the Gospel of
Matthew said, the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who approach it like
little children. What does that
even mean? We adults have been so
tainted by the world that our childish innocence has been lost. Or, maybe it hasn’t been lost, but
we’ve let it be hidden beneath our adult shell. Let me give you an
example. I was recently with a family who had a little child who had just woke from her nap.
She was going from person to person in her t-shirt, diaper and drinking from a sippy cup (And NO, just to be clear, I am NOT suggesting that ANY of you should walk around in a T-shirt, diaper, and carry a sippy cup!).
As I was getting ready to leave, she did one simple thing that I doubt
most people hardly noticed. In
fact, I didn’t even think of it until much later. As I was saying “goodbye,” she gave me
a “high-5.” Let me ask you all
this – When was the last time you gave someone a “high-5?” When was the last time that person
wasn’t a child?
Have you noticed how little
children look at the world? Their
heads are always up. They see God's creation with a child's eye. They see God's majesty. We adults
usually have our heads down – or at least focused straight ahead of us (and no,
I don’t think it’s always a vision problem issue). Children are always slow, and I don’t think it’s because
they have shorter legs – they take time to be amazed at God’s creation. We adults rarely do that – we have a
goal in mind, and we are often in a hurry.
Why am I pointing all this
out? Over the next few weeks and
months, our “adult” thoughts are going to kick in. We’ve seen too much of the things of the world that we’ll
get angry. If that happens, be angry,
but don’t hold your anger in – talk to someone, and talk to God. We’ve seen too many news stories that
we’ll start blaming others or ourselves or saying things like, “If only
he/she/they/I would have done this or that.” The past cannot be undone. And remember, we always make the best choices
in the present based on the information we have. Blaming others or yourself and “what ifs” are just a vicious
circle and a tool of the devil.
Yes, your mind will go there, and it probably already has. Don’t beat yourself up over it, but when it does, realize it for what it is.
When you can, and when you are able
– and don’t force yourself to do this until you are able. Remember the child as he or she was – innocent. Remember the child as
he or she is now – still, innocent, only separated from us for a
while. Then, try to look at life
as he or she would. Look at the clouds
and look for animals in their shapes.
Look at the animals and the birds and enjoy their sounds and watching
them play. Stick your tongue out
at someone (please do it jokingly, and make sure that other person knows you
are joking – and if they get mad – Do not tell them I told you to do it!). When
it rains, go outside and get wet – don’t worry, you won’t melt. Give someone a “high 5” – someone who
is not a child. Slow down and look
up during the day. And most
importantly, come back to the story of Jesus again and again, and each time you
do, come to it like a child - That's how we come to the Kingdom of Heaven like a child. Ask
questions – even if you ask them just to yourself – that a child would
ask. Most of all – Be amazed at
the gifts that God has freely given to all of us just as a child would.
The healing process is a long
road. There will be many bumps
along the way. Your faith will be
tested. Your patience,
and even your love will be tested.
I’d be a liar if I told you otherwise. Remember some simple childish truths – It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to ask for a hug. It’s ok to pray – even out loud. It’s ok to say, “I’m sorry” if your temper gets the best of you. When you’re ready, it’s ok to have fun again. It’s ok to enjoy life again. It's ok to have fun again. It's ok to smile again. It's even ok to laugh again. It’s ok to have some bad days. It’s ok to have some good days. It’s always ok to ask for help.
To friends of the family – Let me
offer you one word of parting advice.
Please do not wait to be called upon. While it’s perfectly acceptable to say, “Call me if I can do
anything,” because we do want the family to know we are available, please also
take the initiative to do something, make a call, send a card, and let them
know you are thinking of them, praying for them, and that they are loved. Do something!
May God guide you and comfort you and help you keep
your faith through this long journey of mourning and healing.
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