First of all, why should I even have to use the sign I did as the "title" picture of this article? The year is 2015, and people still blame victims of sexual assault for the crimes committed against them. Quite frankly, I'm tired of hearing things like, "If she dressed more appropriately...," "If she didn't dress like she was advertising...," "It was just inappropriate touching; not rape..." "That's what happens when you hang around with the wrong crowd...," and the list goes on.
I'm tired of the bullshit that downplays what the perpetrator has done: "Every man has needs...," "He was just curious...," "She was lonely...," "This person only did it once and is really sorry...," and you know the rest.
Before someone goes off and says that perpetrators should be allowed to be forgiven, I completely agree. Forgiveness, however is a job of the Holy Spirit. Forgiveness comes from repentance. I can't tell a victim to blindly forgive - I'm not an expert in such trauma. I can't tell any person not to feel what he or she feels. Only God can change a person. Let's also remember that forgiveness DOES NOT mean earthly "not guilty" verdicts. Forgiveness means that the person has confessed and repented before God because of Christ. It means the person is justified before God. It does not mean the person is justified before those he or she hurt and the community around them.
No, this is not a witch hunt. I am not on a crusade to hunt down anybody. But I have a point to this article.
It is Annual Conference time in the United States for the United Methodist Church. Simply explained, each region is divided into "conferences" (groups of several hundred churches). They hold an annual conference to discuss church business including finance, appointment of pastors, hold training sessions, and vote on resolutions.
As a United Methodist Pastor, I will soon be attending my Annual Conference. Let me be clear. I love being United Methodist. I am NOT saying the United Methodist Church (UMC) is better than any other church...I am saying I love being a part of the UMC. I find spiritual satisfaction anywhere I am around fellow Christians from no matter what denominational background they come. It is by choice that I choose to be part of the UMC.
As one who loves my church, I believe the most loving thing to do is to point out ways that it can be improved! First of all, I believe we (and all churches) do that by following the leading of the Holy Spirit. Period. However, there are earthly factors entrusted to us.
A point which is dominating the UMC is homosexuality. An obscene amount of money has been spent discussing this issue, putting pastors and bishops on church trial for violating our Book of Discipline (similar to a church book of rules), travel to discuss this issue, publications on this issue, and so forth. In the United States alone, I recently read that over $2 Billion (not confined only to the church, but all institutions) has been spent on homosexuality.
I begin to wonder if people do not trust God enough to think that we can actually "solve" this issue if there is an issue to be solved. Instead the church bickers, and even threatens to split over this one issue. Why can't the church trust that if God sent his Son to save the world, God really meant it?
However, there is an issue that we can discuss. There is an issue we can exercise some control. In our pews every week, and in our Bible studies, and in our Youth Groups, are people who are victims of sexual assault of some form. Most of us don't even know who they are. Statistics show that these victims are in EVERY church in the USA regardless of denomination. They hear us pastors condemn sin of every sort. Then they see us comfort the sinners. They see us help the sick. They see us minister to the dying. Sadly, they themselves, rarely receive any care. They suffer in silence. The stigma is too great.
Churches claim to be "safe spaces." Maybe we are. But do we let people know that we are safe for every issue? Do we let victims of sexual assault know that we are advocates for them? Do we let them know that this is not God's plan for them? Admittedly, if it were not from the writing of a friend from Seminary, I would not have seen my own blindness on this issue.
I would be extremely surprised if any of this is mentioned at ANY Annual Conference this year except in some ignorant comment from someone decrying how homosexuality "causes" sexual assault. That saddens me. Statistics show that there will be a sizable representation of sexual assault victims in these Annual Conferences. Yet we will continue to silence them.
Please - How do we break the silence? This is my thinking space. I need help. Comment below.
