If We Don't Like It, Why Do We Do It?

I saw a very wise FaceBook post today from a teenager.  It said something to the effect of this:  "We spend Thanksgiving thanking God for all we have, then we spend Black Friday buying stuff because we don't have enough."  (Not an exact quote, but the message is the same).

The Holiday season, is my favorite time of year!  I love the lights, the movies, the food, the time with family, watching my kids play, and how everyone is just a little nicer.  But, sadly this comes with a price.  Every year, we try to "outdo" ourselves from years past.  We try to give bigger presents, we try to put more people on our Christmas Card List ("Hey, I ran my shopping cart into your leg at the grocery store...can I have your address so I can send you a card???).  We try to find the perfect toy for our kids, nieces, nephews, and so forth.  We try to find meaningful gifts for spouses or partners.  And the whole time, we don't like doing it.

Most people, when you ask them what they want for Christmas, will say they don't really want anything.  Or that they just want some family time.  But yet we insist this person is just being modest, and we buy a present anyway.

I'm just as guilty as the next person.  I think my wife and I spent at least 2 hours in the toy aisles to find Christmas toys for our 2 young children.  Trust me...with 3 sets of grandparents, a loving church family, and an extended family, these children do not lack for toys.  Heck, my daughter right now is playing with a plastic case that holds toy cars...not the cars...she's playing with the case.

Black Friday has turned into a national holiday.  To this day, I refuse to participate in all the very early morning shopping, but I sometimes venture out in the afternoon.  Trust me, though the police may not be called as often in the afternoon, it's as busy as ever.

Whenever you ask if people enjoy this rush/run-around/'more, more, more" attitude, the answer is often a definitive NO!.  But yet we do it.

We know that Christmas is Jesus' Birthday...not ours.  We know that "Jesus is the Reason for the Season," but yet we lavish presents on others.  We "don't have time" to go to Church on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day because there is too much running.  And, before anyone gets made at me for saying this, before I became a pastor, and Christmas Eve became part of my "job," I did the same.

Why do we do the things we don't like to do?  Why do we break our bank accounts to buy toys and gifts that will either a) not be used, b) break, c) sit on a shelf or in the closet after a brief period of enjoyment? I will admit that I have cut back, but I still feel like I have to buy the "perfect gifts."

What are we afraid of?  Are we afraid that if we don't get the "perfect gift," people won't love us?  Are we afraid that life won't be complete if we don't please everyone at least materialistically?

Maybe we're wired that way?  How often do you hear the following:  "Hey, this tastes nasty...try it."  Or "Wow, this hurts...do it." Are we so masochistic that we do things we don't like in some act of self-sacrifice?  If that's the case, then why don't we buy for the homeless?  Pay a bill for the poor?  Then we can spend our money, not exactly like it, but accomplish something positive.

I don't have an answer as to how to Simplify the Season.  Parties are fine.  Presents are fine.  But, they've come to dominate us rather than be true expressions of love.  What happened to the days of finding 1 meaningful present (homemade, pictures, poetry, etc.) and giving that to the ones we love?  Sure, kids can have toys.  But, do they need toys that cost more than most houses?

I don't have the answers...I have the questions...What can we do?

If "Sesame Street" Gets It, Can Christians Get It?

Every year, I look forward to the Holiday Season.  Pure and simple, this time of year makes me happy.  Once November comes, I hound my wife until she lets me put up the Christmas trees (Yes, that’s plural…At last count, we have 3 decorated trees and a cactus about to be decorated).  Every year, I try to find the perfect spot in the house for our Nativity Scene.  We have a handmade Nativity Scene made from a cloth pattern that was cut out and stuffed by my wife’s Grandmother who went to be with God this past year.  Though we have several Nativity Scenes, this one is my favorite, and this year it has even more special meaning.  I also have my large collection of Nutcrackers.  I’ve lost track of how many I have…just know that there are A LOT!

But wait!  What about Thanksgiving, you ask?  Don’t worry; I celebrate Thanksgiving.  I love Thanksgiving - the turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie.  I just like my Thanksgiving with a little bit…ok…a lot of Christmas mixed in with it. 

Basically, I turn into a child this time of year.  I find myself competing with my own young children as we decorate the Christmas Trees.  I want to put up the “cool ornaments.”  I have to remind myself that I’m the dad now, and that rather than competing with my children, I should enjoy watching them cram 5 or 6 ornaments on the same branch, or watching them put all the ornaments no higher than 2 feet off the ground.  But, secretly, I’m excited for them to go to bed so I can go back and reposition the ornaments for a “more balanced Christmas Tree.”

But, this year, I feel different.  I wonder if I’m chasing a dream that doesn’t exist.  Even now, I’m typing this beside one of my trees (lights on, of course), but it is with a heavy heart.  I guess I owe you some background information.

A few weeks ago, my family and I went to Wal-Mart for groceries, and to pick up some supplies we needed.  My 5-year-old son saw a toy he wanted, but I told him we didn’t have enough money to get it.  To be honest, our bank account could have afforded the toy, but I told him it was too expensive…a response many parents give their children.  A few minutes later, he saw a small stuffed bear with the Duke University Logo on it.  As a Duke Divinity School student, I couldn’t pass this up.  I let him put it in the cart.  Even when I told him he could have that little bear he asked a few times if we had enough money for it.  I said “yes,” and went on.

After the shopping trip, my wife and I decided to treat the kids to lunch at a fast food restaurant.  Once my son heard that we were eating out, the first question was, “Do we have enough money?”  Suddenly, it hit me.  It hit me like a ton of rocks.  My son, who doesn’t really understand money, was worried that we didn’t have enough.  I almost cried at the anxiety I caused him to have.  By dismissing his “gimme’s” with “we don’t have enough money,” I made this little boy anxious about a subject he shouldn’t’ have to worry about.  I felt horrible.  I stopped dead in my tracks and explained the best I could that we have enough money to take care of him, and that he doesn’t have to worry about money.  I tried to explain the difference between buying an expensive toy and buying groceries, but I think I only confused him. 

Ok, that’s the background information.

As I see the news this year, daily, I see stories of people in America (not to mention around the world) who don’t have enough money for basic necessities.  So many people are out of work, and no relief is in sight.  The problem has apparently gotten so bad that “Sesame Street” has introduced a Muppet to address childhood hunger.  While I wish shows like “Sesame Street” could focus on things like letters and numbers, I applaud them because SOMEONE gets it.

Americans are so quick to blame the state of the poor on the poor themselves.  “They wouldn’t be poor if…” (fill in the blank – “they would find a job,” “they weren’t lazy,” “they just buckled down,” or add your own).  Even many Christians say the same.  In fact, some of the most unsympathetic people on the issue of poverty that I’ve met are professing Christians.  “Why should I have to feed someone else’s kid?” they ask.  “Taxes are stealing my money and giving it to people who are too lazy to work.”  Remember…I’m speaking about Christians who say these things.

I wonder if these Christians read a book…an important book…the Bible.  I’m sure if they dug hard enough into the text, they’d find God’s words on the issue of poverty.  Spoiler Alert:  I’m going to tell you what God says – God tells humans that they are to help the poor.

Somehow, anyone who finds these passages isn’t a “True” Christian (according to some).  Those who advocate these passages are “just trying to steal the money from hard working people and give it to the undeserving.”  Undeserving?  Isn’t there something in the Bible about ALL people being created in the Image of God?

This year, a record number of people in America don’t have enough food (including many children).  They go to bed hungry.  They go to food pantries to get basic necessities.  They choose between needed medication and supper – which is more important?  “Sesame Street” recognized this reality…why can’t the entire Christian Community get it?

Thanksgiving will come this year, and a record number of families will not have a traditional dinner, unless it comes from a charity or organization.  Christmas will come, and a record number of children will not wake up to a tree with presents under it.  Some Christians say that this is just “too bad” for them…survival of the fittest…it’s not their problem.  Others will write a check and give it to some charity so that they don’t have to actively get their hands “dirty.” 

The time has come to stop this mindset in our churches.  Either we take God seriously or we don’t.  Or, paraphrasing Stephen Colbert: we tell God we just don’t want to obey the commands on caring for the poor. 

The poor ARE our responsibility.  I grant that some are poor because of bad money management or bad and sinful choices.  But, God doesn’t seem to differentiate one type of poverty from another.  Writing checks to charities is good…don’t get me wrong about what I said earlier…but, working WITH the poor is better.  This doesn’t even mean you have to leave your own comfort zone to find the poor.  They sit in our pews at church every week.  They live next door to us.  They work with us.  Their children are friends with our children. 

We can’t save everyone; I get that.  Actually, we can’t save ANYONE.  Only God, through Christ, in the Holy Spirit can do that.  But, we can point the way.  We can make a difference.  Let me rephrase…We WILL make a difference.  If we answer God’s call, we make a difference for the good.  If we ignore God, we make a difference for the bad.

If “Sesame Street” get’s it, can we Christians get it?  If “Sesame Street” is doing its part to minister to the poor, couldn’t professing Christians do a little more?  Please, Church, follow Elmo’s lead and make a difference!

Some Questions for the "Occupy Movement"

Let me begin by saying I think I support a lot of what the Occupy Movement is trying to accomplish.  I say "I think," because there is not one coherent message but rather a myriad of messages being sent by the protestors (To be fair, that is their goal - as I heard on an interview on NPR, the protestors want a wide range of issues to be discussed).  I'm not sure if I support HOW the Occupy Movement is trying to accomplish their goals.  I have some questions.  I'd like answers.  Please, feel free to share your answers to my questions or to pose questions of your own.  Here are my questions:

1.  It's obvious that corporate greed has gone viral.  It's obvious that there is exploitation of the "weak" so that the "strong" can gain more power.  While it is human nature to lash out in these situations, what can we do to bring reconciliation?  Rather than resorting to the tactics of "the powers," can we find a new way that would bring solidarity and mutual respect?  (Yes, I'm an Idealist...and a Christian - and I don't see separation between the 2).

2.  How will the 99% know when the struggle is over?  Do we wait for corporate executives to step down?  Do we wait for more fair labor laws?  What is the signal that the struggle is over...or at least that it's ready to enter another phase?

3.  I understand the "Occupy Wall Street" movement.  On Wall Street, they are protesting in the very place the decisions of greed and corruption are being made.  I don't understand occupying other cities and towns.  In stead of occupying part of a city/town/campus, could we occupy the poor neighborhoods that are ripe with gang activity, drug activity, and other self-medication/survival techniques?  Instead of staying separated from the masses, can we bring the masses together in a show of solidarity and brotherly and sisterly love?  Can we reach out to the forgotten in a tangible way?  I realize that is the goal, but in the midst, I fear the faces and names of the truly suffering have been forgotten.  Can we go into poor neighborhoods and help them to reclaim their neighborhoods from the evils that envelop them?  Dare I ask this???? Can we even consider living among the poor? Befriending them? Loving them?

4.  I know all of the protestors do not share in the Christian Faith.  I'm sure there are various faiths represented and even people of no religious faith.  But, as a Christian, I would feel a little better about this movement if we brought Jesus into the picture.  I've seen hints of this, but only hints.  Can other faiths bring their Deity into the picture (I DO NOT mean that term, "Deity," to be disrespectful - but rather, it is just a simple term to encompass all religious faiths).  Are the 99% just vying for power? or are the 99% struggling for equality?  There is a difference.  If the 99% enslave the 1%, then nothing has been solved...only, the roles have been reversed.

5.  I understand the movement wants a lot of issues to be discussed, not just 1.  But, can there be some sort of unified statement?  What do you want accomplished?  Why do you want it accomplished?

While there is (justified) anger, we also need to remember that we are called to forgive.  Forgiveness DOES NOT mean that we overlook injustice.  Forgiveness DOES NOT mean that we allow exploiters to walk away without punishment.  Forgiveness DOES mean that we see the humanity in the oppressor.  Forgiveness DOES mean that although the oppressor may need punishment (fines, jail time, boycotts, etc.), we do those things not out of revenge but out of love.  Yes, we can punish in love.  It's possible...and it's what Jesus expects of us.  Forgiveness DOES mean that we can allow the sins of the past to not determine our future.  We don't forget...that is impossible in most cases...but we do forgive.  A rabbi (and I don't remember which rabbi this was) said of forgiveness (and I'm paraphrasing): Forgiveness does not mean that we forget, but it means that we can continue the rest of our lives without feeling like the past has to be un-done.

Can this movement lead to a Better World...not just one with the roles reversed???

Repeal the No Child Left Behind Act - An Update

I want to thank all of you who wrote to our representatives about the concerns of the "No Child Left Behind Act."  Here are some updates:

1.  Our voices are being heard.  I've received automated responses from several politicians.  That's not necessarily good news in that these responses do not directly address our concerns, but it is acknowledgment of receiving our letters and e mails.

2.  Today, the phone rang, and I looked at my caller ID, and it said "US Capitol."  I assumed it was going to be some automated polling system.  But, it was a staff person of Sen. Burr acknowledging my correspondence and he gave me information that this issue is in committee.

Of course, none of this means the NCLB will be repealed or even amended, but it does show that when citizens act, our voices are heard.  Making a difference is not always about winning...It's also about being heard.