The Call

I put that picture there because that is the stereotypical view of a pastor...older, clean-cut, suit, tie, squeaky clean.  I have nothing against those type of pastors...but that's not who I am.

My hair is a mess most of the time, I wear t-shirts and p.j. pants when I'm home, I don't give sermons the way that pastor in the picture would...but for some reason, God still called me.  I'm uncomfortable at parties where one has to be social, I don't like a lot of formality, I hate ties.  Despite my outward appearance, despite the fact that I have my faults, despite the fact that I don't "look the part," and despite the fact that I don't always "sound the part," God called me into the ministry.  Of this, I have NO doubts!

God's call couldn't have been any clearer!  I taught elementary and middle school for 10 years in mostly high poverty areas, and loved it.  But what I loved was not the teaching, it was the mentoring, the relationships with students and their families, and giving kids the tools to make their lives better.  I then got greedy.  I thought I should be a principal.  That's not to say all principals are bad - but for me it was a "power thing" or a "status thing," not a calling.  I got my M.Ed. I probably would have made a good principal, or I would have been fired.  I don't quickly take on the "company line" unless I believe it is for the benefit of all.  And that is what made me disenfranchised with teaching.  The "No Child Left Behind Act" was dumb!  Only an idiot could have come up with it, but yet it's the law of the land.  How can a school that passes in 19 out of 20 areas be a "failing school?"  Last time I checked, 95% was an "A."  Why should a school loose points because one student was in a coma and couldn't take the test???  DUH!!!!  I could go on, but I won't. 

Then God stepped in, maybe rescued me.  It was time to go into a different form of teaching.  To teach God's people and to teach people to know God.  It was a leap of faith.  I was uncomfortable with it.  I'm such a random person that at first I thought it was a passing whim.  I ignored it.  Prayed over it.  But, finally, it was obvious that I needed to do this.

So, here I am...pastoring a church...going to Divinity School.  And loving every minute of it!  I still don't "fit in" with traditional pastor groups.  I don't always fit in at school. I have opinions and often voice them.  But, I must somehow fit into God's plan.  If God can take a person like me to teach the Word, God can do anything!  I love God, believe Jesus is savior, and want others to have the same assurance!

I have my issues.  I'll say the occasional curse word.  I have a broad sense of time (I'm not known for being on time to much of anything).  I march to the beat of my own drummer, but that drummer must be God!  My fashion is questionable at best.  I'm not an eloquent speaker, but neither was Moses.  Trust me...I'm NO Moses!  I sometimes have the same doubts my parishioners have.  I sin.  I don't have all the answers.  I have trouble being serious most the time.  I have to maintain my sense of humor as a coping mechanism.  I get stressed.  I get depressed.  But, at the end of the day, I know God got me through it.  And I know God called me into the ministry.