Love is ALWAYS the Answer

Many people will not like what I'm about to say.  Those that want easy answers will not find them here.  Those that want their convictions challenged will not get that either.  Those that want me to take a stand on issues will not find it in this post.  That is the point of what I'm going to address.  For the purposes of this article, my own opinions on the situations are not important.  I will not tell you what to think or how to vote.  This article will deal with our attitudes and motivations when thinking or voting.

I have not seen our Nation and our World so divided as it is now.  Our Churches are divided, and I would venture a guess, though I have no data, that a lot of other faith communities are divided as well.  I'm here to tell you that it doesn't have to be this way.  In fact, to be this way is to be sinful!  Yes, I'm writing from a Christian perspective...I know no other way to write.  But, even the most secular person or person from another religion, I believe, would be hard pressed to find what I have to say as being wrong.

Let me list just some of our divisions:  Republican vs. Democrat, Pro-LGBT vs. Anti-LGBT (that is a shortcut way of saying we are divided on issues of sexuality - the real arguments are much more nuanced than what I presented), "Conservative" vs. "Liberal," Religion "A" vs. Religion "B," Nation "A" vs. Nation "B," the 99% vs the 1%, Capitalism vs. Socialism, Greed vs. Charity, Me vs. You, Us vs. Them, Tolerance vs. Defined Rules.....Do I need to go on?????  I think you get the point.

The battles over these issues, and any other issue that we face do NOT have to be battles in the sense of "I win, you lose."  Our culture is one of winners and losers.  The world is made up of winners and losers.  But it doesn't have to be that way.  It SHOULDN'T be that way.  And this doesn't mean that we have to give up our convictions or our Religion, or our standards.

I don't like lists...they're often too rigid, but I think I can propose some solutions in a more efficient way if I use a list format (wow, another division...List people vs. Non-list people).

Before I do so, I'm going to use the word "Love" quite a bit.  Let me define it:  From 1 Corinthians 13: "⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

I should also tell you what Love is not:
Love is NOT some fake showing of value that is used to manipulate.  Love is not mere respect.  Love is not something we say but do not feel.  Love is not just that mushy stuff between lovers.  Love (for the purpose of what I'm writing) is not sexual.  Love is not tolerance.

1.  We can fundamentally disagree on any issue, but we must respect (code word for "love") the person or people on the "other side" of the issue.

2.  We must realize that NO ONE is unworthy of love.  Yes, EVERYONE is worthy of Love.  Even the most hateful person you can think of deserves our Love.

3.  We must realize that issues are non-beings.  There is no such thing as an "issue."  "Issues" are people.  If it doesn't affect people, it's not an issue.  Even when thinking of the most abstract mathematical equation (ok, I don't know much about advanced math, but try to follow me), somehow it affects people.  And ALL people are worthy of being Loved.

4.  We must see that politicians/religious leaders/public figures/etc. (who all still deserve Love) use "issues" (which are not reality) to divide.  Standing on one side of an issue (meaning favoring some people over others) is a sneaky way of saying that you have convictions.  Instead, we can hold to our convictions while still Loving the people who disagree with us.  The people I noted all have a vested interest in division.  They win, become popular, get higher ratings, etc.  We do not need to fall into that trap.

5.  Holding onto convictions is a good thing.  But first, we must see the other side, no matter how painful it may be.  And by seeing, I don't mean giving it a glance and saying, "it's just wrong."  I mean we must put ourselves in that position and think about it from that perspective.  We must be willing to be challenged, and only then can we say we truly hold onto our convictions.

6.  Calling someone "ignorant," "narrow minded," "bigoted,""weak," "without standards," and such, while sometimes accurate is not showing Love.  Labels are the first way of making a person into a non-human.

7.  When our convictions are attacked, we owe it to the other side of the argument (meaning the people on the other side), to seriously consider what they have to say.  Yes, even if they are not being Loving. Only after we consider their stance can we choose our convictions.  We will be attacked by hate, but we can respond in Love.

8.  We can, and should, let our religious beliefs determine our convictions.  But, I know of NO religion that promotes hate.  Most religions have been perverted to promote hate at one level or another, but when we get to the root of these religions, the message is usually Love.  (Ok, Satanism may be an exception...there are always exceptions).

9.  When we feel ourselves beginning to lose Love, we need to remove ourselves from the situation and regroup, and only then can we re-enter the debate.

10.  Language has everything to do with these battles.  We cannot argue, but we can debate.  We cannot judge (in the sense of what God does), but we can hold to convictions.  We cannot label others even if they do it to us.  We must treat every ally and opponent on every issue as an individual.  There are no "clones."  We cannot hate, but we must Love.


Only when we accept those 10 propositions can true debate and discussion happen.  Yes, we will disagree.  Yes, this means that it will take longer to find a solution.  But, Yes, this means that people will be valued as they deserve.

We want quick answers.  We want right and wrong.  But our "issues" (which again, are people) are so nuanced that there is not 1 quick answer to MOST situations.  Yes, there are exceptions - Murder is wrong.  Stealing is wrong.  Arson is wrong.  But except in obvious cases, the answers are not so obvious.  This may mean that voting is not the answer.  Voting can mean that 1 person more than half the population gets to decide for the entire population.  In some cases, that is fine.  We can elect leaders that way (I'm sure there are exceptions to this statement).  But most situations should have consensus, not majority.  And when we can't reach a consensus, we need to continue discussion and debate - NOT argument and judgment.  And all this MUST be done in Love.

Division is sinful.  Division puts up false socially constructed fences between people that inhibits real discussion.  We can disagree, but we must never be divided.

Our world is not without hope.  Our nation is not without hope.  Our Churches are not without hope.  The very essence of Love is hope.  The things that seem dead now can rise again.  The "roadblocks" can be moved.  But all of this takes initiative.  And often WE have to be the ones who initiate the change.  WE have to be the ones who change the discourse.  This is a long and dusty road, but it CAN be done if Love is our focus.